Treating
Each Other Well
[Ephesians
chapter 5, verses 15-33]
When
we left off last week at verse 14, the apostle Paul was exhorting and
encouraging the Ephesian church to remain as “the
light in the Lord”, and to live as “children of light”. Today
we will finish up the latter half of the book of Ephesians chapter
five, where we find Paul continuing to elaborate on the meaning and
intent of his writing. So let's take up where we left off, beginning
at verse 15.
“Be
very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise,
making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be
filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and
spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,
always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of
our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for
Christ.” (Ephesians 5, verses 15-21, NIV)
Paul's
words, “Be
very careful, then, how you live”, could
be an entire sermon in and of itself, but I will save that for
another time. For now, this an admonishment and a warning to those
aspiring to live for Christ as I do: Live carefully! This doesn't
mean we are expected to somehow live carefree lives, blissfully
disconnecting ourselves from the world and the people around us, as
if we can somehow insulate ourselves from everything that exists
outside of our comfort zone. Instead, reject isolation, ignorance and
fear! “Do
not be foolish”,
Paul wrote, “but
understand what the Lord's will is”.
Knowing God's will for our lives is easier than some people think.
All we have to do is ask in prayer, ”OK, Lord, I want to serve you
but I'm not sure how to proceed. Could you please point me in the
right direction?” Is there anyone reading this who is not sure
about the answer to that question? Let me use shopping (perish the
thought since I despise materialism) as an example. If one walks into
any given store, whether big or small, looking for a certain item,
do we not ask for directions from an employee rather than wander
aimlessly all over the store searching? Of course we do, unless
you've been there before. Has any of us ever asked for directions to
find any given item in a big-box store and been turned away by the
employees? I think not, and since this is true for some company that
wants to sell you something that you may or may not need, why should
Jesus, who has what everybody needs, be any different? He has already
given us the ultimate gift by dying for our sins on the cross. So if
you're not sure if He will answer your prayers don't worry, he will,
provided that you are asking for the right reasons. He already gave
his life for you, so why would he turn you away for anything else?
Paul also wrote, “Make the most of every
opportunity”. That doesn't give us an excuse to be greedy or
opportunistic, nor to pursue great wealth for its own sake – which
in the end turns into a self-made trap from a spiritual standpoint.
Don't take unnecessary chances, which at times can be tantamount to
courting disaster. We are to repent of our constant partying, and all
the immoral things that go with it, Paul wrote. If we want to get our
fill of something, being filled with the Holy Spirit is devoid of all
the unwanted side effects of all those other things. We are to be
thankful at all times and in all circumstances, no matter what
happens to us. And if bad things do happen, and sometimes they still
do anyway, that doesn't mean God is mad at us. Being mad at someone
is a human emotion, which is why God doesn't think like that. But
sometimes bad things can happen in order to strengthen us because
that's one way God builds character. Finally, “submit to one
another”. This does not mean we are expected to be human doormats –
far from it! What it does specifically mean actually refers back to
what Jesus said in all four gospels, “Love your neighbor as
yourself”. Let's all pause here for a moment and examine
ourselves. Are we obeying this commandment? I certainly hope so,
because anyone who is not isn't saved yet. Still others have
dedicated their lives to the Lord and are saved, but they have
back-slid in this area and are leading selfish lives. Remember that
this is “job one” for any true Christian. Serving Christ is the
opposite of serving oneself. As we continue our study, then, Paul
also continues this topic and extends it into the home, beginning at
verse 22.
“Wives,
submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head
of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which
he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives
should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to
make her holy, cleansing her by the washing of the water through the
Word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without
stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”
(Ephesians 5, verses 22-27, NIV)
The
first sentence in this passage of Scripture is one that has been
abused and misused over the centuries as an excuse for the husband to
be a tyrant and a dictator in the home. Having once been raised in a
home similar to this, I am speaking from experience. Let me be
absolutely clear that under no circumstances is there ever an excuse
for abusiveness by either spouse towards each other or towards the
children. If any of my readers is in an abusive relationship, for
your own sake get some help! Remember there is no shame in asking for
help. Get away from that situation, otherwise you will be placing
yourself in harm's way sooner or later. Plus, this works both ways,
as Paul wrote so perfectly. Guys, it's difficult for the ladies to
have a relationship with someone they are afraid of, so back off and
simmer down! And ladies, you're not going to have a long-term
relationship with anybody when you sit at home watching TV and
getting drunk after he goes off to work. We are living in hard
economic times, so waiting on a husband who will be a good provider
is strictly pie-in-the-sky as far as reality is concerned. When
choosing a spouse, find someone in whom you can trust enough to pool
your resources. If anyone is hesitant about trusting a potential
spouse with money, I would advise my readers not to marry that
person, and to seek another instead.
“Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ loved the church”, proves
further that loving relationships work both ways. Don't nag each
other, don't pick fights or start arguments, don't keep score on
perceived wrongs or injustices, and never, ever be abusive. If we
want to be followers of Christ, the devotion thereof starts in the
home. Let's all be “without stain, wrinkle or blemish” before the
Lord. That means acting as if He were standing right there next to
us, because you had best believe that's exactly where He is. And now
let's conclude today's study of Ephesians chapter five.
“In
this same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated
their own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does
the church – for we are members of his body. For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the
two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery – but I am
talking about Christ and the church. However, each of you must love
his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband”.
(Ephesians 5, verses 28-33, NIV)
Treat your wives' bodies as a part of your own, and
wives must do the same for their husbands. If you want a formula for
a successful marriage, this is it. But most important, we are to care
for ourselves and have the same regard for ourselves, and for each
other, that Christ has for the church. If your marriage is such that
either spouse would lay down their life to save the other, that is my
definition of a strong marriage. And we are to do so knowing that we
are members of the body of Christ, meaning we treat others as
ourselves because that is Christ's command to us all. “Love your
neighbor as yourself”, starts in the heart, not the mind. But it
also means that, as the redeemed of Christ who are saved from hell,
we have become the greater Family of God, having been adopted into
that family by the supreme sacrifice of Christ. Since we have become
Christ's relatives by legal adoption, which we examined in my earlier
study of the book of Romans, we are to act as such. No person who
lives an immoral life can be a part of the Family of God. But they
can still be saved if they repent of their sins and turn away from
their immoral, sneaky and deceptive ways. There isn't much time left
before the end of the age, so I urge you all to turn to Christ now
before the opportunity ends. Let him teach you what real love means.
Once you experience that, you'll never go back to your old life
again, and you'll be saved forever.
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