What
About Marriage?
[1st
Corinthians 7, verses 1-9]
Today
as I continue to dissect the first book of Corinthians, but with
words instead of sharp objects, I will begin chapter seven, which is
quite probably the finest behavioral commentary about relations
between the sexes in existence (with the possible exception of
Ephesians chapters five and six, which I will cover later). Since
this is a lengthy chapter with a lot of timely commentary and
Christian guidance, I will be breaking this up into three parts. I
will ask the Lord's guidance regarding this, and I'm confident that
He will lead me in the way I should present this sacred and beautiful
literary material. Let's begin with chapter 7 and verse 1.
“Now
for the matters you wrote about: 'It is good for a man not to marry'.
But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own
wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his
marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The
wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In
the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but
also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent
and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then
come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your
lack of self-control. I will say this as a concession, not as a
command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own
gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” (I Cor. 7:
verses 1-7 NIV)
Paul's opening statement reflects a fact that I had to
learn the hard way; marriage isn't for everybody. Having remained
single since 1990 after the disintegration of my second marriage, I
can tell you without hesitation that I much prefer the single life
even though I love kids. The fact that it costs about a quarter of a
million dollars to raise a child up until their 18th
birthday (not counting college or university) in today's terms pretty
much scares me away from raising kids, and I'm now in my late
fifties. But there is much more to this than simple advice for the
lovesick. St. Paul's advice to remain single was in large part a
prophetic statement intended as advice for those living in the end
times as we all are. He was referring to something Jesus told the
apostles when they came to him and asked what the signs of the End of
the Age would be. This is the way that he answered them in part.
“Now
learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender
and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near. Even so, when
you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the
door. I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass
way until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass
away, but my words will never pass away.” (Matthew 24: verses 32-35
NIV)
In
this passage of scripture, which is only a single paragraph out of
the fairly lengthy 24th
chapter of the Gospel of Matthew, the fig tree Jesus spoke of
represents the nation of Israel. His reference to the twigs getting
tender are a metaphor for the third and final birth of Israel as a
nation, which occurred about 1,970 years later in May 1948. When
Jesus says, “this generation will certainly not pass way until all
these things have happened”, it is an apparent reference to that
final generation born on the earth before the Second Coming of
Christ. It is stating (although there is actually a lot of background
scripture that goes into far greater detail that I will later present
separately) that the final generation born on the earth will not pass
away until His prophecy about the End of the Age is fulfilled.
Although I will decline to speculate on the possible date of our Lord
and Savior's triumphant return, the point Paul was making is that
since the Second Coming is so close at hand, why bother worrying
about finding a wife or a husband? If anyone really feels that
lonesome, let me remind you that we are all a part of the Bride of
Christ that is foretold in the book of Revelation, so technically we
are already married to Christ anyway, not physically but in Spirit
and in Truth. Therefore if we are not married, we should not get
preoccupied with looking for a spouse. If you desire a mate, and
there is nothing at all wrong with that, seek the Lord about it and
he will send you someone perfectly made just for you if that is his
will.
In
the very next sentence Paul says, “But since there is so much
immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own
husband.” In other words, if you feel lonesome or look at yourself
at being incomplete without a mate, then by all means find a suitable
partner and marry him or her. It is far better to choose that path
then to vow to keep oneself pure only to give in to unanticipated
temptation which leads to sin. Sexual temptation can and does happen,
even to the most fervent believers. But, Paul then turns around in
the following sentence and advises those believers who are already
married with these words: “The
husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the
wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but
also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not
belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other
except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote
yourselves to prayer.”
This applies just as much today as it did when these words were first
written nearly 2,000 years ago.
All
you married couples, please don't use your human sexuality like a
weapon against your partner as a way of getting back at each other
for perceived wrongs,
whether
real or imagined, that one partner or the other may have (or not)
committed in the course of the relationship. These kind of tactics
are childish and immature, and they do great damage to what should be
a very repairable relationship. Ceasing this kind of unproductive
activity will go a long way towards beginning to repair any marriage
or relationship, no matter how difficult it may seem. Let go and let
God. In the end, that's the only thing that works. Paul then
continues in verses 8 and 9:
“Now
to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay
unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they
should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
(I Corinthians 7: Verses 8-9 NIV)
Speaking as a single middle-aged man, I can truly
testify to each of you that I have been following this teaching to
the letter since 2002. At this point in my life I believe it is God's
will for me to remain single and celibate, and I have remained as
such for over 12 years. By the same token, that does not necessarily
rule out my finding a wife at some later point in time. But I don't
press the issue with the Lord because I am acutely aware that it is
His timing that is always perfect. If the Lord sees fit to send me
someone, or if some unknown person picks me instead of the other way
around, I would definitely have to give that some very serious
consideration.
Like the apostle Paul in verse 8, not everyone can do
this, so I would advise anybody who has trouble keeping their libido
under control to go ahead and find a soul mate; only, choose
carefully! As Paul wrote in the above Scripture that we just studied,
“I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift
from God; one has this gift, another has that.” Paul was apparently
a single man who was probably in his thirties or forties when he
wrote the two Corinthian letters present in the New Testament, and he
was apparently satisfied with life as a single man. The Bible doesn't
say whether Paul had been previously married or not, and it's
probably not important anyway. What does matter is that Paul made it
part of the example he set to remain pure and set apart as belonging
only to the Lord. As he wrote in a later letter elsewhere in the New
Testament: “Flee from sexual immorality”. The word flee means to
turn and run away from as fast as one can, so there is no mistaking
Paul's meaning here. Playing fast and loose with your sex life can
only get you into serious trouble sooner or later, so it's best to
stay clear of that style of living.
Now that there has been a teaching directed at all the
single people who are one in Christ, I will return next week to tell
you what the apostle Paul had to say to married people. Until then,
keep this teaching close to your heart and meditate upon it so you
can continue to draw yourself closer to Christ. In so doing, He will
draw closer to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment